Stories and Social Capital The telling of true stories crops up again and again as a useful interaction technique. It’s easier to raise a dissenting view if you do so my telling a true story; and it easier for others to listen to you. Compare “Your idea won’t work”, with, “At my old job, we tried something similar and… Read More
Tame the spaghetti meeting At the start of my last project, we found ourselves not with the infamous “spaghetti code” but with it’s interpersonal equivalent: spaghetti meetings. While the group was discussing a topic someone would inevitably say, “Oh, that reminds me of…” and launch into a description of some related, but different, topic that. This was disruptive and cut… Read More
Assume less; discuss more There’s a very apt saying in IT that, “Assumption is the mother of all ****ups!” (Replace **** with “stuff” or a stronger 4-letter word of your choice!) The same holds true for our conversations. Often, we leave massive pieces of the conversation out entirely, because we’ve made assumptions about the other persons. Assumptions about what… Read More
Operating System of the Mind When writing and speaking about People Skills, I’ve often felt that there was something missing. Something important, which somehow I wasn’t successfully explaining. Recently I discovered a great video from Dr Roger Schwartz, and it fills in the gap. He points out that learning new skills is not enough. Most attempts to learn new skills fall… Read More
Your questions If you were about to attend a workshop on People Skills, what would you be hoping to learn? What questions would you bring with you? I ask because I’m teaching my first People Skills workshops in a few weeks and am currently fine-tuning the content. Any tips or suggestions you can offer will be most welcome.… Read More
People Skills Courses I’m presenting half-day workshops on People Skills for IT Professionals. Courses are scheduled in Auckland and Wellington, and available on demand elsewhere. Wellington: 12 June Details Auckland: 26 June Details… Read More
Speaking this Thursday in Wellington This Thursday lunchtime I’m presenting the latest version of my ever-evolving “people skills talk”. The occasion is an IITP lunchtime talk. The modest fee, which is discounted for IITP members, includes a light lunch. Details are here.… Read More
Intermittent posting in next few months I did promise to post something on people skills every week… but some things have come up which will get in the way of my regular posting schedule. In particular, I’m preparing a half-day people skills workshop. “Regular transmission” will resume in a few months. In the meantime, if you have any suggestions on what… Read More
Review applicable skills This is is the third and, for now, the last in a series of tips on how to prepare for discussions which you know will be difficult. Tip 3: Review applicable skills I remember being faced with a particularly difficult meeting some time ago. Feeling unsure about how to approach it, I broke out a… Read More
What you want. What you really, really want. Last time, we talked about a tip for situations when you have a difficult meeting coming up. Here’s another tip I’ve found useful. Tip 2: Figure out what you really want Sometimes we find ourselves with counter-productive thoughts in the lead-up to a discussion: “I just want him to admit that he’s wrong”, “These people… Read More